Don’t worry about bad days, there are going to be plenty more of them.
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‘Garfield do you think I can be tall dark and handsome?’ ‘Sure, turn out the lights, stand on a chair and lie.’

You can’t fly if you’re not happy.

May the forces of evil become lost and confused on the way to your house.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

May you be in heaven a half hour before the Devil knows your dead.